Jamie

This past summer (2006) my family and I vacationed in NYC and saw “The Odd Couple,” starring Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane. We waited outside the stage door for an hour in the pouring rain just to get his signature, and it paid off. Matthew was very shy and quiet, and a group of girls said something like “Look how cute he is!” and he looked at them like they were the biggest freaks in the world. He was awesome.

So I can tackle him and take his brain out and bottle it. Okay, not really. But seriously, if I had a fraction of the talent this guy has, I would be overjoyed. He’s amazing and I want to meet him so that I can tell him that his work inspires me.

Jamie (fauxgasms) is a icky heterosexual who can’t grasp the fact that faux will not bring you to orgasm. Sorry, dear. I love you anyway. <3

My BEST friend in the whole wide world. (She’s currently looking for hot eskimo boys who live in Hollywood, FL. She enjoys group masturbation and long walks on the beach.)

Once upon a time there was this girl. She created a profile on 43things.com and called herself anniebeans, even though she goes by euka EVERYWHERE else. Her best friend’s name was Jamie, who was very OCD and made her login the same everywhere. EVERYWHERE. And when she changed it one place, she changed it everyplace. She was annoying as all get-out. But anniebeans (whose real-life name is, surprisingly, Annie) loved her anyway.

And they had sex every night on her futon.

But she doesn’t have a futon. Huh.

THEND